“Ouch” In Pictures

It all started so innocently:

Leah + Ted = Happy


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Guest Post: Counterpoint – Eyes Forward

Ed: The following was posted as a comment in reply to my blog post about social norms when standing at urinals, and does such a fine job of taking me to task that I felt it worthy of its own post. Enjoy.


From the mind of Louis:

There is a key word in the phrase “public restroom”: public. Public is defined as open to all persons. Yet ever since middle school I have heard the rumors of an unspoken rule of no talking at the men’s bathroom urinals.The excuses are many, but most defend this sacred notion (as Ted does) that once a grip on the tool has occurred silence is customary. While the positions are similar, I hate to burst any man’s bubble but you’re not teeing up a golf shot. You are engaging in an activity every other healthy member of our species has embraced since our genesis. There are no mysteries or questions when approaching another at a urinal. It’s basic. And if you happen to recognize the person who is in mid-stream, a greeting is perfectly fine.


Vive La Musica

Songs that changed my life – Oceansize


I have enjoyed reading Rolling Stone for the last ten years or so, and every now and then, I take a flyer on a band I’ve never heard of that gets reviewed in RS. Life is easier now with Spotify, Pandora, and other music discovery services, but I had a harder time finding good new music back then, so when I found something, it was seriously positive. I came across a review of a band called Oceansize, with an album called Effloresce, and the article had a thumbnail of the wicked album cover:

This is one wicked album


Michigan Football

Michigan – Nebraska 2011

Kicking things off with Corso (“ahh, fuck it”):

I can’t decide which is funnier: Fowler’s shock and disappointment or Herbsteit’s little boy giggling. I’ve watched this clip at least 25 times trying to figure out, and now my stomach hurts. Thanks Coach!

Related bonus material: Corso is a penis, ESPN logo penis sign

Michigan Stadium Card Stunt

We arrived to our seats yesterday to find colored paper ‘cards’ wrapped in plastic, taped to the bleachers with two pieces of wide blue painter’s tape per sign, one sign per seat. So much for “Don’t trash The Big House” and all the green efforts they’ve made over the last few years; the stadium was a total pit as we left yesterday.


Vive La Musica

Songs that changed my life – Metallica

I have a pretty intimate relationship with music, and have as far back as I can remember. It seems fairly common to hear a song and associate it with a memory, and I do that a lot. The inverse is also true with me – memories trigger song associations as well, which seems to be a bit less common. Though the music I listen to evolves over time (does my 1989 Poison-to-Dokken preference realignment count as evolution? Probably not), my bond to music has stayed consistently strong.

I’m never far from music, like many of my fellow junkies, and on certain occasions, I come across some new track or band that absolutely blows me away and changes my perception of not just music, but myself, and my life. Introspectors tend to have moments where they say to themselves things like “I know my life will never be the same after this” – and I have musical moments like that. Sounds crazy, but it’s true. I’ve experienced probably a couple dozen moments like that over the last 25 years, and I’ll share a few here. I can’t remember them all off the top of my head, but whenever one of those songs comes on the great iTunes shuffle, I’m instantly transported back to that moment of discovery. Enough already, more about the songs that have smacked me in the face.

Metallica – For Whom The Bell Tolls


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Ted vs. Car I

After I posted the apology to my parents, a couple people asked me about being hit by cars twice, and if that really happened? Once I got over the indignance generated by that assault on my character (What?! Are you implying that there is something other than factual reporting on my website?!), by drinking heavily with my psychologist of course, I realized that perhaps there is something worth telling in the tales of my two pedestrian-automobile incidents. This will, of course, be a two-part series; Part One commences henceforth.

I grew up in the Great Oaks neighborhood in Rochester, and attended MacGregor Elementary School from Kindergarden through third grade, whereupon we were “re-districted” to Long Meadow Elementary, though I’ve always suspected ulterior motives. I arrived in Mrs. Land’s Kindergarden class well-prepared, thanks to my time in preparatory school at The Red Barn Nursery School, which should not be confused with this Red Barn, which I occasionally drive by in Grand Rapids. I’m sure some variety of education occurs there, but I’m not sure if they have field trips, hayrides, and parent helpers? Circle time has an entirely different connotation here.


shit my blog says

Eyes forward, mister

I have unfortunately strong powers of observation, which cause me to (occasionally) see things at more than face value, and (usually) to over analyze them. It’s a quirk, no doubt, and probably not to my credit, but it is what it is. Just a little background as warning that you may want to stop reading now, lest you venture into the neuroses of the author.

For half of you that read this, I need to provide further background, because the physical location of this tale plays a significant role, and half of you have never been there: the office men’s room.