Dear Food,
I’m writing this letter to let you know that I’m breaking up with you.
I know, I know, breaking up by letter is weak and I wish I had the courage to tell you this stuff in person. But there’s so much I have to say, and my thoughts are better organized when I write them down. Plus, I’m afraid how you’ll react, or how you’ll make me react.
I want to just be friends. Cliche, certainly, but I think we can treat each other with friendly respect now that our relationship is over. We owe it to ourselves to be civil, because we have so many mutual friends and share so many activities, like second lunch, late-night snack, and the munchies, not to mention when we’ll be at the same holiday gatherings.
So why am I breaking up with you? There are many reasons, and the blame lies with me – it’s not you, it’s me.